Since he lives in San Francisco, my savings could be very attractive, but only if he wants to take his wife out to dinner – once. But then I became suspicious that he might try to access my bank account. Inspired, I tracked down my high school boyfriend and emailed to ask whether he objected to being a password. This allegedly not only thwarts cyber-thieves, but also the people who live with you – unless they’re the rare types who actually listened to your stories from the past. Someone recently told me the best password is the name of a high school flame. Meanwhile, I hope my co-workers have become deaf to the annoying “bing, bing, bing” from my computer each time it informs me I’ve entered an “incorrect password” at the start of the workday, forcing me to frantically search for the scrap of paper holding the latest magic code. Believe me: Rejection by machine can be very demoralizing. If the new password resembles the old one, the computer rejects my choice. Using an identical password doesn’t work at my job, where I am required to change passwords every three months and the computer reminds me so every two months. You’d think that would make things easier but if the password is “case sensitive,” I often can’t remember whether I typed a capital letter first. I confess to ignoring those warnings against using the same password all the time. But they’ll be real sorry when computer criminals steal their notebooks, which will never be a problem for me. I acknowledge that smarter, more organized people would keep a notebook filled with passwords next to the computer. But I suspect we’re the only ones being thwarted. This is all apparently aimed at thwarting cyber-criminals. We’re also warned against using the same password each time. Even worse, we’re supposed to create passwords that are complex – using unexpected combinations of numbers, letters and symbols – rather than ones we might actually remember. Truly, the sheer number of tasks requiring passwords boggles my mind. Somewhere, someone is keeping track of how many occasions I click the “forgot your password?” link to a website, which would make me an overachiever – at least according to that list. I cannot even begin to tell you the number of password meltdowns I experience in a week. If passwords are ever required to start the dishwasher or my vehicle, I’m doomed. I detest that technology keeps forcing us to come up with new combinations of letters and numbers to do everyday things – like access our computers, read e-mail, do banking, check the kids’ grades, etc.
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